


Feels So Right

by casualfanficwriter



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Casey & Izzie, Cazzie, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-12 18:11:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18451907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualfanficwriter/pseuds/casualfanficwriter
Summary: When Izzie had reached for Casey's hand, she had been scared that the other girl would pull away and she would realise that she had misread the situation. But the second her fingers had reached Casey’s and felt the other girl welcome her hand into her own, she had noticed the way that Caseys’ breathing had changed and a slight smile had appeared on her face, and she had known that she hadn’t been wrong. She had known that all of the feelings she’d been harbouring for Casey were reciprocated and that both excited and terrified her at the same time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome. Please let me know if you like it and would want to read more. 
> 
> \- Obviously, since their sexualities have not been stated in the show, I will be leaving that to my personal interpretation of the characters and I am not implying it is canon in any way.

Casey and Izzie sat in silence. Their cotton candy slurpees now completely melted in the bottom of their cups. Neither of them wanting to be the first to speak and both of them too preoccupied with how perfect and natural the moment was.

Holding hands had never felt so intense.

When Izzie had reached for Casey's hand, she had been scared that the other girl would pull away and she would realise that she had misread the situation. But the second her fingers had reached Casey’s and felt the other girl welcome her hand into her own, she had noticed the way that Caseys’ breathing had changed and a slight smile had appeared on her face, and she had known that she hadn’t been wrong. She had known that all of the feelings she’d been harbouring for Casey were reciprocated and that both excited and terrified her at the same time. 

Casey felt her phone buzz in her pocket for the third time that very minute and although she felt guilty for ignoring Evan, she wasn’t ready to be pulled back into reality quite yet. She knew that sooner or later she would have to speak to him, but at that moment she didn’t care. At that moment all she cared about was holding hands with Izzie. she felt like a child again, being excited to hold hands in the playground. Only this felt real. This felt intimate in a way that Casey had never experienced, even during the times she had sex with Evan. 

It had been almost ten minutes since either girl had spoken, and with each passing minute, they were both getting more nervous to speak in fear that they’d say the wrong thing and ruin the moment. Until Izzie said a single word that broke Casey out of her trance, “Casey?” she spoke. In a soft and uncertain voice that was unlike anything the other girl had ever heard from her. She was quick to notice how Izzie had dropped the usual nickname of ‘Newton’, and it reminded her of the time not long before when she had thought she had lost her best friend forever and she hoped that wouldn’t be the case this time. For a moment Izzie was unsure on if Casey had even heard her speak until she turned her head and saw a single tear rolling down the other girls face. 

“I’m sorry” Izzie spoke once more, afraid that she had done something wrong to upset Casey. 

“Don’t be” Casey all but whispered, almost as if she was trying to convince herself and not Izzie. 

Not knowing what to do, Izzie moved her hand slightly thinking that Casey wanted to pull away but was surprised when Casey held onto her hand tighter in reaction causing Izzie to move around in the seat so that she was facing the other girl. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, although already thinking she knew the answer to her question. 

Casey nodded her head, “Yeah. No, I think so” and turned to face Izzie who nodded her head as if she understood what Casey meant because she was feeling the same way too. 

Casey took a deep breath in before saying the next words “I really-” but couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. 

Thinking that she knew what Casey was going to say, Izzie continued “You really love him, I know” 

Casey shook her head, “No, I mean yeah I do. But that’s not what I was gonna say” she replied, and Izzie looked at her as if she wanted her to continue. 

Realising she now had to finish her sentence, Casey spoke “I really messed up Izz” 

Izzie made another attempt to move her hand away from Casey’s and looked down almost as if she was ashamed, “oh” she spoke, a devastating level of disappointment in her voice. 

Casey’s eyes went wide at the realisation of what she had just said and how it must have sounded and made a quick attempt to reassure Izzie, “No, I didn’t mean, this” she spoke while using her hand that wasn’t holding Izzie’s to gesture between the two of them. She swallowed before she spoke again, knowing that what she had to say was difficult yet important to get off her chest, “I messed up because I have a boyfriend. A lovely, funny, amazing boyfriend. But all I can think about is you”. Casey let out a breath she hadn’t even realised she had been holding and suddenly felt relief to have finally admitted to something she had felt unclear about for so long. Almost as if speaking it aloud gave her feelings a new sense of clarity. 

Izzie couldn’t help the slight smile that spread across her face in reaction to Casey’s confession. She had been so worried before that she was the only one that felt the connection, the only one who wished they could be something more than friends. But now she knew for certain that Casey felt the same way about her, but she knew that it wasn’t going to be as simple as that. She knew that Casey loved Evan and she knew that whatever it was between the two girls was hurting Casey because of it. 

“I don’t expect anything from you Newton, I hope you know that” 

Casey smiled at the return of her nickname

“What?” Izzie asked. Once she realised the sudden change in the other girls' mood. 

“I was worried I’d lost my nickname” she admitted.

Izzie looked confused before speaking “Why?” 

“Before, you called me Casey” 

Izzie rolled her eyes playfully and shook her head “Really Newton, with everything that’s going on that was what you were worried about?” she laughed. 

Casey put on her best fake serious face before speaking “It’s a very important thing”, but was unable to keep up the act and started laughing instead. 

“Yeah” Izzie laughed “I guess it is” 

Both girls grateful for the lighthearted turn in the conversation, but knowing that they still had so much to talk about, and praying that whatever happened from then on wouldn’t tear them apart.


	2. Chapter 2

Casey and Izzie sat in the driveway outside of Izzie’s house. The two had driven all the way back in silence after their conversation. Never letting go of each other's hands, there was an unspoken rule that as long as they held on to each other they could remain in their private moment for a little while longer. However, they could feel the underlying tension. Once in the driveway, they had let go of each other's hand and the loss of connection had pulled both girls back into reality. 

Casey had been the first to speak, “I need to talk to Evan” 

Izzie looked at her, almost as if she was surprised by the statement, although knowing that would have to happen sooner or later. “What will you tell him?” she asked. 

“I don’t know” Casey replied while shaking her head, she had no idea where to even begin. She loved Evan and the thought of hurting him broke her apart. But she knew that he deserved to know the truth, she couldn’t live with herself if she kept it from him. “But I think we need to stay away from each other until I’ve spoken to him. I already feel like I’ve cheated on him” 

“You haven’t” Izzie tried to reassure the other girl

“I know, but I feel like I have” 

While Izzie believed that Casey hadn’t done anything wrong, she understood how she was feeling. She too had felt like she was cheating on Nate once she had realised she was growing feelings for the other girl, “I know” she replied, not being able to look Casey in the eye. 

“And it will give you time to talk to Nate too”, Casey said, and it took Izzie by surprise once more because she hadn’t even been thinking about him at all, “if you want to” she added once she realised Izzie’s lack of response. 

“I broke up with Nate” Izzie spoke, staring straight. No sign of real sadness in her voice over the recent breakup. 

“Wait, what, when?” 

“Yesterday. I should have broken up with him after he lied about you kissing him but I was afraid to. But it’s over now, for real”. 

Casey felt a small smile spread across her face and couldn’t help but feel incredibly guilty that the news made her happy, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Izzie. Soon realising that it probably wasn’t an appropriate reaction, she apologised “I’m sorry Izz, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It’s okay. I’m fine. And you weren’t exactly answering my messages” 

“Yeah, sorry” 

“It’s okay, I understand” 

“Did you break up with him because of me?” 

“No” she lied

Even though they hadn’t known each other for very long, Casey was always able to tell when Izzie was lying and she knew that this was one of those times, “Izz”, she spoke as if trying to get her to tell her the truth. 

“I’d wanted to break up with him a while now. It wasn’t all because of you, don’t get cocky Newton” 

Casey let out a small laugh and nodded her head as if she understood 

“I don’t know if I can break up with him” Casey admitted. 

“I’d never ask you to” 

“I know. But, I wasn’t lying” she looked at Izzie when she spoke, but saw that the other girl was still facing forward and wouldn’t meet her gaze, she understood why “when I said this feels so right” she added. 

Izzie swallowed and felt the tears begin to threaten to fall again and decided it was time to get out of the car before she full on broke down in front of the other girl, the only response she was able to give was “Yeah”. 

“Don’t cry”

“I’ll see you soon Newton?” Izzie spoke as she opened the door and climbed out of the car. 

Casey replied “Yeah, I’ll text you okay” as Izzie shut the door and turned around to walk inside the house. And while she knew that it was better now that the truth had been spoken, she couldn’t help but wish that they’d sat holding hands for a little longer. Because while they were holding hands they had been in their own little bubble and as soon as that bubble was burst she had felt an unquestionable tension between the two and she knew Izzie felt it too. Something had changed, something had altered the dynamic of their friendship and Casey worried that it would never quite be the same again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This short chapter follows Izzie's thought process and she begins to think about the events of the evening and what had led them to that moment. The next chapter will be similar but focus on Casey's thought process.

Izzie hadn’t been able to sleep at all that night, all she could think about was Casey. Most of her nights had been like that recently, but that night it was worse. Even during the moment, the thought has crossed her mind that it was a mistake, that once they crossed the line there was no going back. They could never pretend it didn’t happen. They could never take back the confession of attraction towards each other. Even at the moment she had been unsure but she hadn’t stopped herself, it had felt too right.

Izzie had daydreamed about it on many an occasion, but now that it has happened she couldn’t help but feel immense guilt for causing her best friend so much pain. Maybe if she had kept her feelings in check then Casey wouldn’t feel like she had to choose. Although was it even a choice, was there even the slightest chance that Casey would pick her? She had no idea. 

“I don’t know if I can break up with him” - the words echoed in Izzie’s mind. The uncertainty she had heard in Casey’s voice, the way she had looked at her with such sadness at the fact, that made Izzie believe that if it wasn’t for Evan they would be together at that very moment. The thought alone made Izzie’s heart race, the way that it always did when they were together. The first time it had happened had been during their detention in the coaches office. When they had been sitting on the couch drinking and sharing stories when she had felt her heart skip in her chest but convinced herself it was the alcohol taking its effect. 

The second time had been when Casey’s hand had brushed by her own while they were walking in the corridor. It had felt like there was electricity running through her veins. After that, it had become far too frequent for Izzie to even keep track of. Every time she so much as heard the other girls name she would feel it. She had known what it meant, she knew that it was an attraction that went beyond friendship. And she had known that it was so far from anything she had ever felt for Nate or any boy for that matter. She would sit up all night asking herself what it meant. Was she gay? Did she even like boys at all? Or was it just Casey?

Casey and her sarcastic humour and witty comebacks. Casey with her soft hair and kind eyes. Casey to whom she had almost immediately let her guard down. It would be impossible not to love her, right? 

Izzie looked through the photo album on her phone, mainly consisting of selfies that the two girls had taken together and a few selfies that Casey had taken of herself without Izzie’s knowledge. Those were her favourite. The selfies where Casey was pulling the silliest faces because their entire purpose had been to make Izzie laugh. As she scrolled she found a photo that a girl from the track team had taken of the pair without them knowing. Izzie was laughing and Casey was looking at her with a level of adoration that almost overwhelmed Izzie. She could see just from the photo, how much the other girl really did care for her. Casey was very good at keeping her composure, so moments caught like that were rare but greatly appreciated and Izzie hoped that they’d be able to have moments like that again. 

She began to think about the night that she had arrived at Casey’s house without warning, and how Casey has so open-heartedly welcomed her inside and built the pillow fort, even though she had insisted that pillow forts were dumb. She remembered the way that she had lent her head on Casey’s shoulder while she read to her, and how it had felt so natural. She remembered Casey saying “we can stay in here forever if you want” and how all she had wanted to reply with was “yes please”. And she remembered how disappointed she had been when Nate had turned up. 

Nate, the boy she was meant to love. The boy she was supposed to be devastated about at that very moment, yet she found herself not caring at all about their breakup. She found herself relieved that it was over, because like she had told Casey herself, she didn’t even know how they had gotten together in the first place. She had mainly dated him to up her social status at school. She wasn’t like the other girls, she didn’t have a trust fund or an expensive car. She didn’t ooze the natural popularity that they did. So she had to work for it. She made her way to the top of the track team, she dated a popular boy and she participated in a variety of extracurricular activities. And it had worked, she had tricked her classmates into believing she was one of them. Even if she was unsure at times if she even wanted to be one of them. 

She had felt like an outsider, desperate to fit in. That had been until Casey had arrived. Casey had made her feel alive. She finally had someone to whom she could spill her secrets and insecurities without fear of being judged. Someone who shared her sense of humour and her quirky interests. And for once in her life, it had been a relationship that she hadn’t had to work hard for. It had come so naturally, almost like she was coming home. 

So many things were uncertain to her now. So many things that had before seemed so clear were no longer and she knew that whatever happened was no longer in her control. She had to allow Casey the time she needed, even if it killed her inside.


	4. Chapter 4

Casey had driven around for three hours after dropping Izzie home that evening. She knew that if anyone saw her then they would know something was wrong and she didn’t want to have to answer any questions just yet. She didn’t even know herself how she was truly feeling, so how was she supposed to explain that to anyone else. She knew how she felt for Izzie, that was now crystal clear to her, but she was conflicted about what that now meant for her relationship with Evan. The question of “is it possible to love two people at once?” running around in her head. 

Knowing that she had to at least get back to Evan, she had dialled his number and put her phone on speaker while she drove. 

There was a brief silence before she heard his voice, “Hey Casey, where are you. I’ve been trying to get hold of you all evening” 

Guilt. Guilt was the only word Casey could use to describe how she felt. Guilt for ignoring Evan, guilt for feeling the way she did about Izzie, guilt for being torn on what decision to make next. It should have been easy right? Evan was her boyfriend and she should automatically choose him, only she didn’t. She didn’t because the voice in her head was saying “Izzie, Izzie, Izzie” and she couldn’t shut it off even if she wanted to. 

She realised that it had been a good ten seconds and she had yet replied when Evan spoke once more “Casey, are you there?” 

Casey could feel the tears threaten to fall, but she knew she couldn’t cry over the phone. This was something she had to tell him in person and she knew that if she cried Evan would ask and she wouldn’t be able to lie to him, “Yeah, sorry” 

“Where have you been?” he asked, and Casey could hear the concern in his voice and she was mad at herself for making her boyfriend worry about her like that. 

She wanted to lie, she wanted to say anything but the truth because she wanted to ease her guilt, but she didn't, “With Izzie” she replied honestly. 

Casey heard a small unamused laugh from the other end of the phone, “Yeah, of course”. She knew exactly what Evan meant. She knew she had a tendency to forget about everything and anything when she spent time with Izzie. There had been countless times that Casey had missed his phone calls because of it and Casey knew it annoyed the boy. 

Although this time I took more of a sting and for a brief moment Casey worried that Evan had already heard about what had happened, although knowing herself that wouldn’t be possible since the only people who knew where herself and Izzie, “Why did you say it like that?” she asked. 

“Like what Casey?” 

“I don’t know” 

The conversation was slow and not unlike it had been earlier with Izzie and she could tell that Evan could feel the tension even through the phone line separating the two, “What’s wrong, do you want me to come over” 

“I’m not home” Casey was quick to answer

“Well do you want me to come to wherever you are?” he replied the annoyance that had previously been in his voice now disappeared. She could hear her caring, supportive boyfriend once more and she couldn’t help but wonder that maybe if Evan wasn’t so kind and patient with her that it would be easier to tell him what had happened. 

Casey swallowed, she wanted to say yes. She wanted Evan to come to her and hold her and make everything better like he always did, but she knew this was something he couldn’t fix. This was something she had to do. “Not tonight, but can I see you tomorrow?”, she spoke, already knowing that asking him to meet the next day would mean telling him about Izzie. She knew she had to do it sooner rather than later. 

“Yeah” he replied almost instantly as if he didn’t even need a second to consider his reaction, “Casey are we okay” he added. 

“Yeah” Casey chose to reply instantly as well, knowing that if she took too long to think of a response then not only would she begin to cry but Evan would also know something was wrong. Although she knew that she didn’t sound convincing and she also knew that Evan would pick up on that. 

“Okay” Evan spoke, and Casey could tell he was unsure on what to say “I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me the time. I love you okay”. 

Casey could feel the tears begin to fall once more and blinked them away before responding, “I love you too”, and it was true, she did love Evan. She loved everything about him, and until recently she had believed she could never love anymore more. 

After the phone call, Casey had decided to turn around and drive back home. Feeling some-what batter that she had at least returned Evan’s call and she had a plan to speak to him the following day. She knew that no matter what she was about to break Evans' heart. She knew that it would kill him, but she also knew that it would be so much crueller to leave him in the dark. 

It didn’t take her long until she returned home and parked her car in the driveway. As she walked through the front door she saw her Mom sitting at the counter. 

“Your dad knows I’m here, don’t worry. I’m leaving in a minute” Casey heard Elsa speak and she walked through the door. 

Casey walked towards her Mom and sat down in the chair beside her, causing Elsa to look at her in surprise. The two had never had the best relationship, and even a gesture as small as Casey choosing to sit beside her was something very significant. 

“I’m sorry Mom” Casey spoke, Elsa very quick to realise that the young girl was not using her birth name like she so often did and hoped that meant that they were beginning to mend their fragile relationship. 

“What for sweetie?” genuine curiosity in her voice and Casey almost found it funny because in truth she probably had so many things to apologise to her Mom for. 

“Judging you” 

Elsa looked at Casey and could see that the girl was clearly very troubled about something. She replied with “Where is this coming from?”

“I guess I just understand more now, you can’t control it. Sometimes it just. Happens” 

“Is this about Izzie?”

Casey had been almost certain before that her Mom had known the two girls were harbouring feelings for one another. After she had walked in on their almost kiss at her birthday party and then proceeded to tell Casey about the time she had a romance with a woman. But hearing her Mom now say it out loud almost made her feel relieved. As if it was one less person she had to tell and one more person who could share the burden of her secret. Casey couldn’t help the tears that began to fall and before she knew it, Elsa had wrapped her arms around her and she was crying into her Moms shoulder. 

“Whatever happened is not the same as what I did sweetie, I’m married, I have kids”

“But I love him”

“I know” Elsa spoke as she brought her hand up to lightly stroke Casey’s hair. Unsure on whether or not to ask the next question or not, she took a few seconds to decide, “Do you love her?”, she asked. Although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer, after all, she knew her daughter and she knew she wouldn’t be this upset if she didn’t. 

Casey nodded her head against Elsa’s shoulder and in response her Mom held her tighter, knowing that all that Casey really needed at that moment was someone who supported her wholeheartedly and even if she had failed to be the Mother Casey deserved in the past, she would not fail this time.


End file.
